


Snapshots

by FrankieFandom



Series: Not Like This [3]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Brain Damage, Character Death, Disability, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Permanent Injury, Service Dogs, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2018-12-08 01:58:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11636577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrankieFandom/pseuds/FrankieFandom
Summary: A collection of drabbles and one-shots from the Adjust and One Year universe.





	1. Obituary

A firefighter has died from his injuries two years after risking his life to save a baby girl. 

Lieutenant Matthew Casey, now 34, passed away on November 28th 2015.

He had served the Chicago Fire Department for eleven years and was a well-respected officer in the department and the community. Thoughts are with Matthew’s family and friends.

His funeral will be held at St Florians on December 3rd.


	2. Picture Book

Severide had arrived at Casey's hospital room exhausted after a long shift the previous night and hadn’t managed to get away from the scene until 10am. At least there’d be overtime pay. Casey had been beside himself when Severide arrived late but there was no point in trying to explain and he’d soon forgotten once Shay sat down with him and helped him to grip the pen. He’d fallen asleep not long after a few attempts at copying Shay’s large handwriting, his grip on the pen was almost non-existent and his scrawls were illegible. Severide snuck out at that point and spoke to the doctor, they were arranging his transfer to the rehabilitation centre, Severide had yet to tell Casey what his sister had decided on his behalf.

Casey was awake and smiling when Severide re-entered the room. Shay saw the sad expression on his face, Casey didn’t. Severide put on a show for Casey, he returned his smile. Casey couldn’t see that it was a forced smile. Before he would have known immediately that was something wrong but not now. 

“I better go,” Shay told Severide. She stood up as she spoke to Casey, “I’ll see you tomorrow Matt.”

“Tomorrow?” Casey repeated.

“Yeah,” she nodded at him, “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Ok.”

Severide sat down in the seat Shay had vacated, he searched Casey’s face, tried to make eye contact with him but there was nothing, it was almost like Casey was avoiding him. “Matt? Can you look at me?” he questioned. He was trying to justify sending him off into the hands of strangers, trying to prove to himself it was the best thing for Casey, that if he wasn’t receptive to him then he was better off in a rehabilitation facility. 

“Kelly,” Casey smiled making eye contact ever so briefly, “Are you ok?”

Severide’s head cocked to the side, he’d not expecting that, if shards of skull hadn’t sliced their way through Casey’s brain he would have expected it. “Am I ok?” he questioned.

“Erm I… I don’t…” Casey was frowning now, Severide could have sworn, he’d destroyed a moment of clarity, or so he thought. “Sorry… what say?” 

Severide doesn’t tell him he’s missing words, he just smiles at him, “Have you read today?” he asked as he picked up one the books from the side, he doubted Casey would remember if he had, they were discovering more and more every day and now that the medications were greatly reduced it was clear that his short term memory had been effected.

Either Casey didn’t understand or didn’t hear the question because there was only a lost look in his eyes as he tried to focus on Severide.

Severide kept smiling, he didn’t want to make Casey feel uncomfortable, if he was even capable of feeling self-conscious anymore that was, “Let’s have a go at reading this.”

Casey struggled. The letters danced around on the page in front of him, the pictures blurred out of focus. He understood it all. He understood the words and the pictures but he could hardly show that he did. He stumbled over the words. His brain saw one word, understood it but as it processed it the wrong word left his mouth. Casey wasn’t defeated right away. He kept going as Severide prompted him.

“Hey Matty,” Severide touched his arm gently bring his attention back from the glass window where people were walking past, “Matt what’s this picture?” he pointed down at the corner of the page.

“Erm…” Casey frowned down at the page.

“You know,” he said encouragingly although he wasn’t sure Casey did know it anymore, or if he did his brain wouldn’t let him prove it.

“Erm…” Casey tried again, he was determined now that he was no longer distracted, “The… erm… the chases… the mouse… chases the mouse?”

“It’s a…”

“It… it… it… chases the mouse…”

“What’s called Matt?” Severide questioned him.

“I…erm…”

“It’s a k.. kaaa…” Severide encouraged. 

“Cat,” he said suddenly.

Severide smiled, “Told ya you knew it. Now next page…” Severide turned the page and point to one of the large words, “Can you read this for me? What’s it say? What’s this word?”

“Erm… the…” Casey stuttered out.

“Good, good,” he nodded happily, “This one here?” he placed his index finger below the next word.

It took all the effort Casey had but he did it, “The… the… the… erm… the blue…” 

“Good Matt, really good,” he smiled despite how hard it was to see him in this state, to watch him struggle to read a children’s picture book, but he was determined to help him, to assist with his rehabilitation. 

“Stop now…”

“No, no, keep going, you’re doing really well,” Severide reassured him.

Casey’s eyes and focus left the page and he asked clearly, “When can I go?”

“Home?”

He nodded, “Want go to home.”

“You were asleep for a long time Matt, they need to keep an eye you, to help you just for a little while….”

In frustration Casey slammed his hand down on the swing table. There was no strength in it, before Severide knew how much damage those hands could do but now they had no power behind them. 

“Your head hurts?” Severide questioned as Casey scrunched his eyes shut.

“It hurts…”

“I’ll get the nurse,” Severide stood up.

“No. It hurts.”

“I know Matt. I promise it won’t soon.”


	3. The Funeral

“Courage. Honour. Service. Dedication. Matthew Casey brought all these things to his job. Into people's lives. He made a real difference. He was one of the bravest firefighters this city will ever have. But he was much more than just a firefighter, he was like a brother to us all, he was kind and compassionate. Now for him the earthly struggle is over. May he rest in peace...”

Severide didn’t hear the rest of Orlovsky’s words, he barely felt Shay's comforting arm around his back. It was all a blur, almost unreal. He struggled to hold back tears. Sam stirred at his feet, restless and whining. Severide reached down to stroke the dog's head. “It’s all right buddy, it’s gonna be all right,” he whispered.

At least the strain of arranging Casey's funeral had been lifted from his shoulders by the ever-kind Chaplain. He had proved to be a good friend to Casey and helped him through the nightmare of Hallie's death, for which Severide would ever be grateful to the man. Orlovsky had appeared at their house on that fateful day after Casey's life had ended, offering his services, as the CFD Chaplain and as a friend. He had done everything except arrange the evening celebration at Molly's where they would all get drunk and reminisce about Casey. But for now respectful and sombre formalities must be observed.

St Florian's was packed. Every available seat was taken and more people were standing at the back of the church. There was a sea of dress blues, many CFD Chiefs were in attendance, all of Casey's 51 family and their wives or partners, plus one or two of Casey's childhood friends who had seen the newspaper obituary. Casey's sister Christie had come even though she and her brother had not been on the best of terms after he had been injured, accompanied by her teenage daughter Violet. She had loved her Uncle even though she had not seen him since his accident.

Nancy Casey had flounced into the house shortly before the cortege was leaving, announcing that she only had one day off work and that she hoped things wouldn’t drag on too long. Severide hadn’t heard her excuse but Shay had and almost swung at her.

The fifteen minute drive to the cemetery passed in silence. No-one spoke. A hard-faced Nancy Casey sat alongside a red-eyed Christie and her weeping teenage daughter. Severide and Shay shared the rear row seats with Sam who constantly nuzzled his way onto Severide's lap, looking to give and get comfort, still wondering what had happened to his beloved master.

As they pulled in at the gates it was snowing again, huge soft flakes falling gently. As they stood by the graveside the sky darkened as it grew colder. Just a few of Casey's closest friends and his 51 family were left now. Nancy threw her handful of earth, Christie and Violet stepped forward with a flower each, quickly followed by Severide and Shay, then a few remaining others.

Long after all the guests and the Chaplain had left, Severide was still kneeling by the freshly dug grave, staring down at the coffin, now covered with fresh flowers. The funeral would have pleased Casey, who had never been one for pomp or ceremony and only put up with it as an occasional part of the job. It had been subdued and respectful. 

Sam stuck by Severide's side. He had followed him everywhere since Casey's death, unable to comprehend why Casey was no longer in the house, searching all over for him, lying on his bed in the hope that he would return soon.

Severide hugged Sam, it felt like he was the last connection he had to Casey now. As long as he had Sam he would still have part of Casey there with him. Sam licked his face, sensing his tears and his grief, somehow seeming to understand where his master was and that he would never be coming back. 

Shay watched Severide from beneath the sheltering branches of a tree. She walked silently to where he knelt and brushed some snow from his hair, kissing the top of his head. “Ready?” she asked softly

“As I'll ever be,” Severide got to his feet and linked an arm in hers. “Bye Matty,” he nodded down to where his best friend lay, sleeping in peace at last.


	4. One Afternoon

"You did really well today Casey," Severide spoke to him clearly, "It was nice to watch."

"Watch what?"

"Your physio session," Severide replied, the smile hid his sad eyes from Casey. He was still having lots of short term memory issues and the doctor wasn't sure if they would resolve. No one was really sure of anything. Brain injuries are tricky, it felt like those four words had been on repeat for the last few weeks and Severide was fed up of it, he wished there was something more concrete, but then he would just step back and think; at least Casey had woken up.

"I'm walking?"

"Yeah," Severide nodded, still smiling, "You walked quite a bit today. You're doing really well."

Casey looked entirely disinterested in what Severide was saying, he was struggling to keep eye contact, in fact Severide can't recall Casey managing to make eye contact with anyone since he'd woke. "I'm tired," Casey stated.

"Close your eyes," he replied softly, "Get some sleep."

"Don't wanna sleep."

"Sleep's good for you," Severide told him.

"No…" Casey moaned and Severide was quite sure how to respond. Casey grew frustrated when no one understood him but how was Severide supposed to understand that even though he was tired he didn't want to sleep because when he woke he'd be disoriented and confused when Casey didn't understand that himself. Severide remained silent and watched as Casey drifted into an uneasy sleep, he wished the doctors hadn't reduced Casey's painkillers but Casey was the one who'd requested it, he didn't want to side against him, didn't want to take away all his control.


	5. When it Rains it Pours

Casey stood on the steps at the front of the house for a few moments after the door closed behind him. He was hugging himself instinctively, sucking in a breath that was more like a sob. Tears had gathered on his lashes, he couldn't stop himself from crying. The dam had broken and his face contorted in distress. He didn't know what to think. He'd upset Kelly. Again. Angered him even, angered him to the point of telling Casey that he couldn't keep taking care of him if he was going to behave like a child and not eat his lunch. He'd shouted at Casey, he hadn't really meant it, he'd not meant it all but he'd had a bad night, he was usually extremely patient with Casey but not today. He'd slammed his bedroom door on Casey, needing a break from him after such and long and stressful shift.

Casey had just stood in the lounge after their argument looking down the smashed TV remote, frowning. Broken, just like him, he understood enough to know that. The whole incident was wrecking his fragile emotions, his thoughts were rushing around his head, he'd started to scratch at his own arm, his heart pounded in his chest. In his anxiousness he'd instinctively gone to Severide's door and by some miracle with the state he was in remembered to knock. There was no reply. He took hold of the door handle but the door wouldn't budge. Casey scowled heavily and turned away.

Severide didn't want him so he'd left the house.

As he stood outside the house dark clouds gathered. A storm was coming but Casey neither knew nor cared about that. He just wanted to escape from the confines of the house, Severide didn't want him, he really was a burden, he was useless, a drain on everyone around him. He wiped his hands across his tear stained face and started to walk away.

He walked familiar streets without any thought to where he was going, without realising he was on his way to Firehouse 51. It was automatic, a route he knew, although he hadn't walked it before. He'd ran it more than a few times but that was all in the past now. The rain had started, his clothes became soaked as he stood at a crosswalk in the midst of a crowd of pedestrians, he simply pushed his way through the people and stepped into the roadway without any care.

The driver of the oncoming vehicle managed to slam on his brakes and by some miracle he didn't hit Casey, instead winding down his window and yelling. "Asshole! You stoned buddy? Or just stupid, huh?" he shouted, giving Casey his middle finger as he rolled slowly by him.

Casey simply stood still, staring blankly towards the rows of oncoming traffic, but not really seeing it. Then two people were by his side, steering him back onto the sidewalk.

"You ok?" a voice was asking him.

"What happened... you just walked in front of a truck?" another voice questioned. Casey just blinked away the rain water, ignoring the two people stood by him.

Suddenly a huge flash of lightning was followed by an ear splitting roar of thunder. Heavy rain drops bounced off the sidewalk. Everyone retreated into store doorways and under umbrellas, pulling up hoods on coats or holding newspapers over heads as they dashed for cover on the busy street.

Casey stared at the woman in front of him. He was soaked to the skin now but she'd put her umbrella up over both their heads. "I said are you ok?" she spoke loudly through the sound of the storm.

"Am I ok?" he frowned, repeating the question gave him chance to think of an answer, "I'm ok." He was still frowning, wondering who this person was, wondering why he was being questioned.

"Well, be careful, no more walking in front of trucks, all right?" she smiled at the dazed and rain drenched young man in front of her before she turned and continued on her way.

Casey walked on despite the huge storm that was right overhead now. He had no money, his phone was still on his nightstand. He didn't think about how worried Severide could be right now, didn't think about what a dangerous situation he'd got himself into. He wasn't thinking about anything, he just knew he'd done something wrong, he couldn't remember what it was but he just knew he'd done something, and he knew what a burden he was to Severide, he could see it all the time even though no one thinks he can.

It was a quiet day at Firehouse 51 and the ambulance crew were stocking up their rig and a couple of Squad members were sat checking their equipment when the door opened revealing a soaking wet Lieutenant Matthew Casey. Most of the crews knew him and everyone had heard what had happened at the fateful call where the beam had sent shards of skull into his brain. A buzz of consternation broke out as everyone looked at him standing in the doorway. The two female paramedics immediately jumped to their feet and went over to him.

"Hey," the blonde haired one began. "What are you doing here Casey?" she spoke softly and kindly. He avoided her searching eyes. Taking his arm she started leading him carefully over to a chair at the squad table and sitting him down. The other paramedic disappeared into the back of the ambulance for a blanket.

She quickly tried to assess his state, deciding that apart from being rain soaked and shivering with cold, he seemed relatively sound. He was soon swathed in a blanket with a towel round his shoulders and had yet to answer anyone's queries.

"Someone call Kelly Severide," the paramedic said to no one in particular, "Tell him Casey's here." She turned back to Casey who was still trying to avoid everyone's looks, he didn't quite understand how he'd got here and why Severide wasn't here. He'd lost his grasp on his thoughts now that he was exhausted from the walking and the cold. "Casey, what are you doing here honey?" she asked again.

"I… I don't know," he replied quietly, "Had to go I think… sorry."

"What do you mean honey? Why did you have to go?"

"I did something?" Casey's voice shook as he spoke with a frown, he could only vaguely recall the cause of agitation he'd felt, he'd done something he shouldn't, he'd done something wrong, he was always doing something wrong, always needing help. Then that word popped into his head again. Burden.

Someone passed her a cell phone. "Matt, do you want to speak to Kelly?" she asked as heard the dial tone, pulling him away from this dark thoughts.

He shook his head adamantly. His eyes filled with tears as he watched her waiting for an answer at the other end.

"Hey, Kelly Severide?" she asked after a few tense moments.

"Yeah... who is this?" his voice was rushed, panicked even.

"It's Chloe at 51," she replied, "Casey's here."

"Oh thank God…" the relief in his voice was audible. He'd stepped out of the shower over an hour ago to discover Casey was nowhere to be seen. He'd been out in his car driving around trying to find him, terrified at how his words and actions had upset him. "Is he ok?" he asked.

"Looks like he's walked here. He's ok I think, just soaking wet and cold, bit confused," she told him.

"Jesus..." Severide's voice came back, "Ok, I'll be there in ten... and thanks."

And right on time, ten minutes later, Severide pulled his car onto the walkway by Firehouse 51, he jumped out and went straight to the apparatus floor. He spotted Casey immediately sitting at the table wrapped in a blanket. He strode up to the blonde paramedic that he knew was Chloe Johnson, giving her a warm smile before he knelt down in front of Casey. His hair was dripping still and his hands were cold to touch. He cursed inwardly for their argument earlier, realising how literally Casey must have taken his angry throwaway remark.

The paramedic stepped away to give them some privacy. Casey looked at him with teary eyes but remained silent as Severide spoke to him. "Hey Matty," he began calmly. "I didn't mean anything I said, you know that really, I get frustrated just like you do sometimes, will you forgive me?" he reached over and touched Casey's knee in a gesture of comfort and apology.

There was a blank expression on Casey's face.

"You don't remember, do you?" Severide queried.

"Sorry," Casey muttered, "Tired."

Severide nodded. "Ok, well let's get you home then."

"Home," he repeated.

"Yeah," Severide confirmed, "Our home."

Casey stood up and started to pull off the blanket.

"Keep that for now Casey," the blonde paramedic called over when she saw him getting up.

Casey just glanced over to her as Severide spoke, "Thanks for this."

"Take care," she said.

"Thanks…" Casey spoke up, but it was in a questioning tone, as if he'd only said it because Severide had prompted it. He followed Severide to the door.

Casey was quiet all the way back home but that didn't surprise Severide, in fact he'd expected him to fall fast asleep.

"Matt… you can't just leave the house like that," Severide began, "You really worried me."

"Because I can't look after myself," he stated, looking out the front of the car as the world blurred passed.

"No… well…" Severide sighed, "Look, you know you struggle with things, I know you hate that, and I'm sorry that I can't make any of it better. I know we have our disagreements and shout sometimes but that doesn't ever mean that I don't want live with you."

"But I don't know what happened? I don't why I was there… here…"

"That's ok, that's fine," Severide glanced across to him, trying to reassure him now he could see he was becoming distressed again. "Let's just get home and have some dinner, sound good?"

After a few moments of silence Casey spoke clearly, "Your door is getting jammed."

Surprised at the comment it took Severide a moment to reply. "My door's getting jammed," he repeated. Severide knew this but he hadn't expected Casey to remember. Brain injuries really were tricky. Some things stuck with Casey whilst other short term memories were lost to him, he was actually glad when he couldn't remember the bad times, when he couldn't remember the headaches, the frustration and anger.

Casey smiled. "You'll have to get it fixed," he stated simply.

Severide turned and grinned at him, "Yeah I will, won't I?"


End file.
